December 30, 2013

on the way out

This year 2013 is almost over. 
 I have mixed feelings about it. 
 I am looking forward to 2014.

We had another snow last night, again beautiful 
AND our weather men are calling for more snow the end of this week....
a biggie perhaps!  
I still haven't gotten all the ice off the deck yet!

I seem to be obsessed with weather of late.
December really was rather memorable weather wise.
We shall see what the next 4 months bring.

WoW and more WoW.

December 26, 2013

weather this december

Gray was the word I would use most 
and extreme the next, 14 inches of snow, -15 degrees 
and yucky for our days of freezing rain which made it  hard to deal with -- ICE. 

I felt this would be a "winter" 
and it is shaping up to meet my expectations. 
I would have rather been proven wrong on this.
No sense grumping about the weather.  It is not going to change it!
but less gray, extreme and yucky would be pleasant.

And the last word stunning for winter is beautiful.

hungry oh my

In addition to these feathered friends 
we are feeding the squirrel population of Brownfield.
Hard for them now with everything covered in ice 
and the temps so very cold.

December 24, 2013


Well the sun shineth.  Yeah.  
Makes all our ice lovely. 
 Now if that same sun would melt the ice.

December 21, 2013

of late

I wake up at night  feeling hopeless and afraid of all I can not fix in this world 
and scared of people I used to feel I could trust who no longer seem trustworthy.  
I grew up feeling happy, secure in a world that then more or less
 was happy, trust worthy and secure. 
Of late there seems to be more and more scary and really unpleasant stuff.
 I am afraid of the powers that be in Washington, of others who govern, 
of corporations, and those whose agenda is not earth or mankind friendly...
the almighty $ is their god! 
They care not if they poison us with bad air, bad food, wars, and hatred
as long as it brings them wealth and power. 

 I am afraid of overpopulation which grows as I type 
and  which is part and parcel of this bad behaviors,
with too much trash, too little water, lack of education 
and morals and this need for unneeded stuff etc. 
 I am afraid of those that are crazy, insane, nuts, mean...
those that pick up guns to kill, those that make unbelievable statements. 

 I am afraid of meteors, weapons of mass destruction, radiation from afar.  

There is no escape, even in the woods of Maine as I am plugged in.  
Big brother is alive and well, and who would have thought?  

We are killing ourselves  and the earth with warming from big cars, factories 
and the stuff we "need" and don't need.
 In all honesty, stuff may be the destruction. There are so many of us 
and we individually and collectively don't want to give up much, do we?
Drive less, buy less, turn down the heat, turn off the lights. No..
 More, Bigger.  We worship stuff.  

Thus I wake up at night because I can not begin to fix the world. 
I long for peace and love, simplicity, honesty.
  Instead the world seems hell bent and chaotic with cruelty beyond any belief.  
We are complacent because we hourly hear of death, abuse and doom
 in reality and make believe. It has become meaningless.
 I was proud of my country until it lost it's way  - torture, needless wars and killing, 
lack of morals,  lack of respect, ignorance,
leaving God out of our lives because one
sick woman didn't like God in schools. 
We can't have any word of god or gods in our public places.  Good lord!  

Although I fight to fix the bleeding, the hemorrhage of today's world, 
I cannot save the oceans, or the air, or the food chain, or change the hatred.
I cannot fix the insanity that is raging rampant.

I do not have the guts to ask God 
to change what we have put in place 
with our greed, our stupidity, our lack of love and compassion.  

It is hard to watch a train derailment, but that is what it feels like.  

Perhaps it is more like watching the last Buffalo run over the cliff...
not one smart enough to stop to save themselves and others.

 I don't want to put negative vibes out in the universe, 
yet it is my observation of late that we are surrounded by and being overwhelmed
 by massive unfixable scary bad.

I wonder if I am alone in being afraid. 

 I don't think so.

Another voice......My Safety 'Tis of Thee, Sweet Land of Security

December 20, 2013


I am putting up my Christmas trees while trees outside are coming down.

December 18, 2013

change in the land

Taken from the bedroom

These trees have grown up over the last 13 years
 so our view has been lost from all but the bedroom windows
 so we are going to have a cutting done to regain the view. 

 Deep sigh.  
We cannot keep the trees and keep the view.  
It is that simple.
One or the other.
We have made the decision to cut, but it is a difficult one. 
 I walk these woods, I know these trees
 and this area will all be different in a few weeks time. 

 Things change.  The trees for one have changed. 
 These were small small trees we could see over when we arrived.  Each year they have become a foot or two bigger. Doesn't sound overwhelming, but it is.

 I never gave it a thought until we started to notice that the view had changed....
there is that word again.....change
That was a gradual natural change.
This cutting will happen much more quickly....a week to undo years of growth.
Deep sigh.

 It is uncomfortable to put something in place that will shift the wildlife and birds. 
 Then again it may be what the woods need, to cut the white pines pines.
 leaving the hardwoods to flourish. 

All good things in time I suspect.  

the field has been plowed so the logging trucks can reach the woods

December 15, 2013


Why do others not say thank you or achnowledge you did something?

 Are our basic communication skills slipping away?
Thank you is so small and so huge.  
Costs nothing, 
yet has such rewards to those who say these words
 and to those that receive.  

I am
I appreciate, I noticed.

I am glad for the good, the bad, the everything. 
I am so blessed.
I need to say thank you.

 I try
hear the word try
to say thank you, to acknowledge the actions
of my neighbor, my boss, and my husband, the sales clerk
and not to take for granted what they do.  

And I hope and I pray they hear and feel my gratitude ~

for thankfulness fills our souls.

December 14, 2013

you are

Be humble for you are made of Earth. 
Be noble for you are made of stars.
Serbian Proverb

December 13, 2013

words and images

Seldom do I look back to see what I put here a year ago, a year and a half ago.

But then occasionally I am curious as to where I was, 
what was happening
what moved me, what seemed important,
and I do take a peek. 

 Am so amazed at the wonder of it ~
which I guess 
is why I am here
 so I can hold on to words and pictures...
things that might get lost
 if I didn't take the time to put them here.  

Earth shattering no.  

Memories yes.

it began Feb 2012 with 


December 11, 2013


Light snows so far have left me complacent and 
not giving much thought to the yurt across the field.  
It dawned on me that perhaps a look see might be in order
 as the weather people at the moment seem to feel 
a storm might be brewing for the weekend.  
Glad I did. 

 There was about 4 inches that needed raking 
It was nice to find the rake tucked way in the back under the yurt.  
It was windy and cold but with no storm  this was fun to do.  

One of the reasons I had wanted someone in the yurt was to do this raking. 
 However, it never worked well as tenant was often off traveling
 during most storms and not yurting so Tim and I ended up doing it.  
Past winters not much snow so no big deal.  

I have this feeling that this year might be a horse of a different color.  
Tons and tons of tracks in the fields, fox, coyote and deer
 in addition to the squirrels and mice.  
Very busy out there.  
They all are hunting food.  
Under the apples trees on all sides of the property lots of tracks. 
 There are still a large number of apples on the trees.
Nature made many fruits and berries this summer.  May mean something.  May not. 

December 10, 2013

full of gas


There is a fine video of the Dalai Lama which I recently watched.
He is a man full of wisdom,  
AND  full of humor to boot!
 "Hafner explained her concept of personal wealth - 
silver in her hair, 
gold in her teeth and 
a body full of natural gas.
This elicited peals of laughter from His Holiness the Dalai Lama.
 "I too," he said. "Especially on a plane. And then, you look around...." 
Peering left and right, he leaned aside and raised one buttock from his chair.
It brought the house down!"
We seem to have a problem discussing flatulence and lord only know that it exists. 
 It is like the elephant in the room.  
So happy that this very real man brought it up in an auditorium full of people.  
The other day I farted and the dog barked at me.  That was a hoot.  
He let me know that he knew there was an elephant in the room!  
Nature at its finest!!!!

December 9, 2013

December 8, 2013

Cold Spring Lane

Lois Wood a Baltimore artist did this drawing of my mother 
in front of Heisler's Dress Shop.  
Not sure of the year, but dalmatians were early 
in my life....4 - 5 so about 1949 maybe.  
Wintery, Christmasy.
Stepping back in time to when life was simpler. 
 with No malls to shop.

December 4, 2013

winter windows

How pretty the window has framed the day.

December 1, 2013

on the older generation

Family come together at holidays 
and usually it is the older family member 
who gather the younger ones together. 
It is what happened in my family.

 A friend my age was enjoying thanksgiving with two sets of aunts and uncles.
I was jealous. 
I have  not been able to do that in more than 20 years 

 I have not had an aunt or uncle alive since 1986   
My grandmother, the only grandparent I knew 
 died the same year my mother died, 1965.  
My father died in 1985.  

This makes me extremely sad 

I feel a emptiness at the lost of all 
my grandparents,
my parents,  my aunts and uncles 
so early in my life.
These relatives were my roots
the people that held the family together
the people that I went to for advice
the people that made me who I am.
My parents and their siblings were older when I was born,
my mom was 29 when I was born.
She was 49 when she died.  I was 19 then.

My father was 43 when I was born.  He was 82 when he died. I was 41.
gone too early.

I am 69 now so for many many years
there has been this void
a lack of older family to turn to, to share a meal
and memories and traditions.
Our generation is not the same without them.

It is why I find holidays not as rich as I would like them.