professional sleeper

retirement dega vu

I woke up last night
 and said to myself It is time to retire 
again.  

I have known this for a spell 

just hadn't gotten to the meat of it. 

 It is a good choice for now and a relief of sorts.  

I shall work through February and then my time is totally mine to mess with.  

I shall never know what day it is, nor care.

winter this month

long legged beastie

what might have happened if ~

We all make decisions, day in and day out.

 I have made decisions, choices about my life, schools, jobs,

dating, marriage, money, children, where to live, what book to read, 

should I say something, should I remain quiet

and on and on.  

Some of these I spent a great deal of time pondering complete with what ifs

Perhaps too much time contemplating, literally thinking it to death.

Others more or less fell into place. 

Were these the wiser choices?

 It is like coming to a crossroad and deciding right or left. 

 There is no "wrong" decision.

In the mornings I follow the dogs letting them chose right or left.

They pretty well just go with the flow taking me along.

Some of my choices, decisions have made my life more challenging ouchy.

 In hindsight I realize that I might have made better decisions,  but Ah that is hindsight

and looking back is very different. 

   

~

 I am thankful for those tough calls as they helped me learn, grow 

and without them 

I would not be here now and the me I am.  

Each wise thing, each dumb thing, each big and small choice 

I have made was a step towards where I am now. The winding path of life.....

~

Right now I am observing some others

  dealing with decisions they have made...life changing choices.

Are they content with the road they have chosen ?

 in hindsight would they choose another way ?

Robert Frost (1874–1963).  Mountain Interval.  1920.

The Road Not Taken

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth;          Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same,          And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.          I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.

  

quotes I like

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.

Philo of Alexandria

  

elements

big winds after snow is making whirlwinds and drifts 

and we just went out to walk in it.

We got to see turkey tracks and an eagle which added to the wonder.  

There is something primitive 

about being out 

when nature is doing nature so well.

So thankful that we can enjoy this.

missing felines

Occasionally I cannot find the cat(s).  They have hiddy spots

Remarkably good hiddy spots.

In the towels.  On top of cabinets.  Between pillows on the bed.

If I had not seen a toe under the dog dishes

I would have never thought a cat might reside here.

do you?

A quote worth noting

"I want you to be concerned about your neighbor. 

Do you know your neighbor?" 

—Mother Teresa

finding my bearings

Some snow has gone off so I went walking with the dogs to find out 

what has changed with our cutting.  

I am slightly lost as many of the trees and places

 I used for reference are no longer. 

 AND it has changed the angles and feel of places.  

I am surprised at this. 

 It will take sometime to reorient.  

In time we will clean up and nature will clean up 

and we shall enjoy the land that has surfaced.  

frosty

shameless

Years ago one bought film, took 12, 24 pictures, removed the film from the camera, 

took it to the drug store and waited for its return.  

Then on seeing it days later one found some pictures fuzzy, 

over or under exposed and pictures that might have been better 

if they could be cropped and some really worthwhile shots.

Even if one did one's own film in a dark room, time was involved 

and chemicals and a great deal of work.

Oh the joys of the digital camera!!! and being able to see 

the pictures one has taken immediately 

Oh the joys of computer photo programs!!!!

and being able to improve the images, tweak and play with them 

and trash the many that need to be let go.

It makes one an artist of sorts....

It is all of this process that I love, enjoy, relish ~
  

Creation from walking out with the camera to the finish. 

So here I sit with 3000 plus images that I have 

after trashing many many many more.  

I find if I wait awhile I can go back and relook at pictures I thought worthwhile

 and realize that they were not keepers.  

One does not have to hold on to each and every shot.  

What shots are worthy?  

That is what I consider as I cull and recull each image.  

In the end I hope I don't let something worthwhile go.  

There is no right or wrong in this.  

It is a judgement call on any given day.

 Should I crop, or expose more or less, or shall I leave this as it was downloaded, 
would it sing more if it were black and white? 
 Did I catch 
the light, the shadow, the texture, the moment, the movement?

Images, images that caught my fancy, caught my eye, that stirred my heart.

Images, light, shadow, action, shapes that I caught.  
A moment, a place in time.

the here, the now of them.

I am shameless.

I am utterly shamelessly in love with my own work.  

I can sit and look, work with these photos for hours on end.

It thrills my soul.  I care not if others thrill seeing my images.  

These are my creations .... 
Some are remarkable, some ho hum yet all are meaningful to me.  

I enjoy them, I savor them, I learn from each and every one

and each one makes me want me to try more.

Heavenly addictive is this part of my life and it brings me great joy.

bigness

This morning I noticed that Shunka is a really big dog. 

 I know that sounds strange as he is a Great Dane.  

Yet - he was small when he arrived and he was teen sized forever

 yet now after 5 years he has finally filled out ----BIG, wide, tall....

 I have some trouble with this.  

Then there is the bigness of the land.  

When I left home to get married and lived in an apartment, 

I did not dream of bigness, i.e. lots of land.  

I did not want to do Roland Park,

 I kind of leaned towards wilder than that

An apartment was the first step away, then Maine,

but in leaving the fancy suburbs I never seriously considering acreage... 

Yet in MD the best buy was on land so land we bought...

When we left Maryland and our 27 acres 

we intentionally downsized to 12 acres with woods 

not fields

so we would not have to mow.

 Rightio.

And now here we are with 80 acres with 20 acres mowable on the top 40 

and 10-20 acres on the lower acres to mow.  Does this seem a downsize?

In all honesty I did consider big on dogs yet I am not sure I really understood BIG.

On land I never ever thought big...it sort of happened

 a little acreage here, a little 40 acres here, a little 40 acres there. 

  

I'm here...

For anyone that has lost a beloved pet.

Afterlife & A Loss For Words

I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying...you found it hard to sleep.

I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear.
"It's me, I haven't left you...I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea.
You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me.

I was with you at the shops today, your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today, you tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you that I am not lying there.

I walked with you toward the house, as you fumbled for your key,
I gently put my paw on you. I smiled and said, "It's me."

You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know that I was standing there.

It's possible for me to be so near you every day.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."

You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew...
In the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.

The day is over...I smile and watch you yawning
And say, "Goodnight, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."

And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we will stand, side-by-side.

I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out...then come home to be with me.

-Author Unknown

morning

  The light is so strong it washes away parts of the puppies.

What a nice feel seeing them warm and content following the sun.

abuse

We think of abuse as physical violence.  

It is bigger.  

It can be neglect, unkind words or less obvious -

 Unsolicited advice,

 coercing, 

controlling,

 labeling,

 judging, 

and meddling 

are just a few versions of violence that deeply affect us.

 “These versions of violence,” Morissette writes, “sometimes subtle, sometimes clear.

 And the ones that go unnoticed, still leave their mark once disappeared.”

Children, elders, mates, animals, strangers

why?

face the wind

face the winds

Three  simple words that convey so much.  

It took awhile to find the name for this land. We tried lots of names, nothing worked.

What worked was we stopped trying.  We let it go. 

Others had given suggestions of what it should be, 

When it was time it happened.  These three words stood out in a native prayer. 

We knew  ~ they fit. 

Once they arrived there was no question that this was the name.

  It is a message and a lesson 

It is a name you can sit with....  ponder..  

The prayer ~

Grandfather, Great Mysterious One, You have been always 
and before you nothing has been. 
There is nothing to pray to but you.  
The star nations all over the heavens are yours, 
and yours are the grasses of the earth.   
You are older than all need, older than all pain and prayer. 
Day in, day out, you are the life of things.

Grandfather, all over the world 
the faces of living ones are alike. 
In tenderness have they come up out of the ground. 
Look upon your children, with children in their arms, 
that they may face the winds 
and walk the good road to the day of quiet.

Teach me to walk the soft earth, 
a relative to all that live.  
Give me the strength to understand and the eyes to see.  
Help me, for without you I am nothing.

BLACK ELK

when ice is forecast

People may say how pretty ice looks yet it is not something one enjoys.  

Hard on all of nature.

green?

when one is faced with prolonged snow, ice, wind and bitter cold minus temps 

there comes a wee miracle

Paradoxical commandments ~

Having read this, can I do this?  The paradox makes it challenging.

still not ready

A year ago my Christmas present was a new kitchen.  

I am still working on it. 

 I kind of like these.  

Very different than what I have in every way. 
the copper pots etc would only cost an arm and a leg! 

It is entertaining to keep designing and redesigning.  

I am getting much mileage out of the new kitchen 

and when it is time I will get more serious.  

In the meantime, reseach, reseach.