April 25, 2012

where did it go?

I built this cairn years ago.  It makes me incredibly happy.  The cairn sometimes feels gravity.  All of the stones fall or part fall and I put them back in place.  
The stone on top is black, smooth and a bit curved.  
It feels good in my hand.  
It often slides off. 
 I pick it up and put it back  This has been going on for years on a regular basis.   I can spot that stone missing from the house. I wander out pick it up and put it back.
This fall it want missing.  Poof gone...did the fairies reclaim it?  It is hiding right in view?   I have raked and gotten down on my hands and knees searching for it.  
I searched for it last fall.  I tried once again today.  
I do not see it.  It is not there.  
I have given the place of honor at the top to a new stone.  This one is red, rough and straight.  
Doesn't feel so good in my hand 
yet it is a very handsome stone indeed.  
AND and it has already slid off.  
Letting go of anything, understanding 
why things change is not so easy.  
I was content with the status quo of my familiar black stone.  I may never know the why of it leaving.  
I am learning  the lesson of accepting 
that it has gone to another place.