July 10, 2013

the fallen

Once again Richard Bender has fallen off the wagon, 
although it sounds as if he just climbed right off or maybe lept off of it this time, 
waiting till the court told him he graduated and no longer had to check in.  
Permission to be on his own and on his own, he drinks.  
Took a whole day on his own.  It is remarkable, isn't it?
My heart is sad yet again.  And I am pissed. I am disappointed.
 Normal responses, yet again!

Drunks have disappointed me throughout my life.  
It boggles my brain why they self abuse.

I am addicted to hope, maybe this time.
And I am addicted to miracles, maybe a miracle will happen.
Maybe it is a death wish this drinking. 
Making themselves miserable seems their life's calling and they do it well. 
Mostly they lie, to themselves to us and to the world 
and go on hurting themselves, and us.
 Richard is back on the streets.
 As much as I try to protect myself from caring, 
I care and I hope and I pray for a miracle yet again. 
One always hopes.......