good day to die

The Native Americans have a saying It is a good day to die.  I woke up Friday morning with that saying in my head.  I had to go look it up as I had forgotten its origin.  Friday was the day we had scheduled Dr. Caffrey to come and euthanize Shunka so it was a fitting thing to flit through my head as it was his day to die and it was a good day.  How hard that is to consider, to say and to do.  It is not something one does casually.  Time has been working against Shunka.  He had grown worse with his walking and was having issues getting up and down it and frustrated him.  He was staggering, crab walking and falling and he was afraid on occasions.  It was his fear that really made me make the decision.  Living in fear is not living.   At any rate, Dr Caffrey arrived and calmly helped Shunka out of his pain and into the other world.  It was painful for us before, during, and after, but Shunka is in a better place and we are returning to normal after months of not normal.  I find I need to walk, and walk.  My healing.  I have rewalked our last walks and there are tracks and tracks, and memories.  The tracks will disappear in time, the memories fade, but still will remain. He is here in spirit along with all our other four footed.  His ashes will return and I shall spread them under all his many evergreens.  That makes me happy and teary.   We are learning to live with the big empty and we will adjust as we will move on to whatever comes next.

a different day

It is Feburary and a dark and messy day and I am sitting with my old boy in our  basement condo listening  to music.  He is sitting watching nothing.  Our last day together.

February

This has been a month  of ups and downs, snows and warming.

SNOW, COLD CLEAN UP, WARM TEMPS MELTING...UPS AND DOWNS

2020 start

2020

Tis the first day of the first month of the year 2020. 

We shall hope that we don't mess up the world as much as the last year 

and those proceeding. 

 Instead of backward, negative, chaotic it might be good

 to be looking ahead, positive and serene.  

We shall cross our fingers. 

 We are working against forces far bigger than us.  

Bottom line is that the rat experiment did not do justice to what we humans do overcrowded.  

My thoughts today. 

no words needed.

love my own work

I have an extremely limited audience 

physically or online

so it is good that I enjoy my photos and my art projects.  

I am my own best fan.  

Smiling.... yep smiling. 

 Me enjoying my very own talents.  Full of myself.... ho ho....

 sage leaves

 many leaves

Arugula

borrowed from a friend the meaning of life..

What is the Meaning of Life?

Meaning is a concept that humans have created. We give meaning to behavior or events. Do plants or animals have “meaning?’ However the question is a worthy one. Allow me to revise it: “What is the purpose of life?”

The purpose of life is to uncover and execute the purpose of life. For me that purpose has been to learn that life is an unfathomable gift. Each of us is the recipient of countless gifts moment by moment. And, one of the ways to understand these countless gifts is to countthem. I first encountered this through a Japanese practice called Naikan.

Take a breath, look around and begin to innumerate what you are receiving at this moment. The wind cools me as I sit on the porch on a comfortable chair designed and fabricated by people I’ve never met. This computer assists me in gathering and storing these words compliments of a word processor that corrects my spelling and saves these thoughts. Someone spent great effort to create and execute this technology. Right now an electric oven is cooking potatoes to nourish me for lunch. Farmers planted and harvested these potatoes. In the distance I hear a foghorn that signals location for fisherman and boaters on the ocean nearby. A fleece blouse keeps me warm and fashionable. This blouse has a chain of makers and movers who brought it to me in the mail. People working in the Social Security Administration who sent me a check this month have allowed me to pay for this blouse.

I believe that the purpose of life is to come to know the myth of the “self made person.” No one has ever ‘done it on her own.’ Every human continues to live thanks to the efforts of others who make things and do things that support life.

Once I began to see this realistically I was moved to join this chain of givers in contributing something back that is useful or helpful. I can never repay all of those who create the conditions of life, but I can do a small part in giving something back to the world. I can use my daily calories to either contribute to the solution, or if I am mindless to the problem.

The Dalai Lama wrote: The True Meaning of Life: “We are visitors on this planet. We are here for ninety or one hundred years at the very most. During this period, we must try to do something good, something useful, with our lives. If you contribute to other people’s happiness, you will find the true goal, the true meaning of life.”

***

~Patricia Ryan Madson, author, professor Emerita from Stanford University.
www.ImprovWisdom.com

Bestest autumn colors

            Autumn fall arrives every year about the same time yet it is never the same twice. 

It is my favorite season for many reasons. 

 This year has been stunning and slow moving.... like good sex. 

 I have been picking up leaves to paint with and paint 

and this year really studying the colors.  

One thing about watercolor is color you notice it and try to duplicate it. 

 Not so easy that. 

 Leaves are bright and dull and pastel and primary and so much more AND they change overnight.  What is not to love when nature gives you this show.