wants and needs

I find it hard to live simply.  

Try as I may stuff keeps sneaking in from me and from others.  

Some lovely, nice, needed 

and some not so much.

I know what I need 

and 

that should be my guide.  

Of late wants in addition to needs keep creeping in.

conversation becoming a lost art

In the ole days, people conversed . 
Today where it should be easier
where people have more chance of connecting,
in so many ways
 they do but mostly don't.  
Connecting is done,

 but done in such an impersonal way.

I find many are silent, 
many are not sharing 
what they are doing or their thoughts.  
You ask a question and hear silence.  Hello?

I am not sure people THINK anymore. 

Too busy doing.....?

Too connected to machines ?

Conversations or lack there of, of late, have left me wanting.  

"have you considered"  

If we are at this place now, 

Can you imagine a few generations down the line?

cabin fever

Right now the conditions are such it is not easy to play outside, icy in the am, 

slushy in the pm so one feels trapped in the cabin.  

I seldom feel a need to escape but this year I am finding that I want out...

where? it matters not -  

where I do not see the same views, the vast amount of white.  

Where only needs to be not here.  

Was reflecting on this and realizing that those that walked and lived here years ago 

could not blow dodge as we do today.  

They were too busy with day to day life, no boredom 

which is the number one reason for cabin fever.  

Number two it was much more difficult to decamp in winter.  

No snow plows after each storm and where did one head, 

the neighbors, the church, the store?
Moving about was more difficult.

Deep sigh.  We are the most spoiled of peoples.  

When we get a little antsy we want something else.  

 Perhaps I shall try to remember that here and now are fine 

and there is no guarantee there will fix that which is cabin fever.

The bottom line is that
I need to readjust my head not the location of my body.

curmudgeon in training....

curmudgeon ~ I am working on this fine title.  Most are men although some fine women hold this distinction.  It is not grumpy.  It is far more astute than than.  Opinions and thoughts abound with it.

1. archaic: a crusty, ill-tempered, churlish old man.

2. modern: anyone who hates hypocrisy and pretense and has the temerity to say so; anyone with the habit of pointing out unpleasant facts in an engaging and humorous manner.

Curmudgeons are supremely independent thinkers, very wise, and have excellent senses of humor!

Seems good to me but~
Most find this offensive which is why people are not beating down the door to be my friend.

Richard says I am Hard...yes, rather driven to that place on occasion and proud of it.  Probably more stubborn and righteous.  As Popeye said  I Yam What I Yam.  

we should all be so outspoken as this       ~       Maggie Smith.

walkies - the bog road

winter morning light

night's coming

outside inside

excitement at the top of the hill

Shunka, Indigo and I had started our walk before dinner 

when a fuzzy something came up the drive.

It was Gene's miniature horse who wasn't too happy to meet the dogs.  

I grabbed Indigo but Shunka chased Nickel home

 with Tim following in the truck.  

Tim couldn't corral the horse so came home telling me 

she/he had headed towards the bog. 

 I ran down the snowmobile trails and found nickelat the end of the bog road.  

Long time since I had to round up a horse.

Nice little one took a dog treat and allowed me to put a leash on him 

and followed me back home to the barn.  

Barn probably looked very homey after the adventure.

okay more winter

where the good lord thought we should be ~

Overcrowding, traffic, crime brought us back to Maine 22 years ago to a neat contemporary house which we searched for for 3 years!!!  

 where I swore I would die.  No more moves for me! 

 HA.....god works in mysterious ways.  

Noisy gun tooting shooting neighbor put us on the road again.  We looked and looked for a new home somewhere.  We knew what we wanted.  A house on some small acreage and that is what our realtor showed us.  UNTIL March of 99 when after looking at a house on 20 acres he asked if we would look at a piece of land, 
part of an old farm for sale across the road.  
Well we didn't want to build.  Been there, done that, but it was a nice Saturday. 
 We walked from one property over to the other, up a snowy drive to the top of the land and looked around at the mountains in several directions.  

Way nice, but WAY out of our price range 

and we would have to build

 and it was 40 acres mostly open mowable fields.  

Well we stood on that hill looking around, and we knew this was for us.  

And we made it happen 

so here we are sitting on our money, 

mowing not just the first lot, but also a second 40 acre lot.  

We had vowed not to have to do that moving after Maryland.

Vowed!!!!  

What do we know.  

This land came to us,

 not us searching it out which is 

 why it thrills my soul.

What you need, comes to you.  

For whatever reason(s) we landed here after many other places.
I have always felt we were brought here.

Makes one feel very humble and extremely grateful

cats in winter....watching, waiting and ....

perhaps love

Perhaps love is like a resting place
A shelter from the storm
It exists to give you comfort
It is there to keep you warm
And in those times of trouble
When you are most alone
The memory of love will bring you home

Perhaps love is like a window
Perhaps an open door
It invites you to come closer
It wants to show you more
And even if you lose yourself
And don't know what to do
The memory of love will see you through

Oh, Love to some is like a cloud
To some as strong as steel

For some a way of living
For some a way to feel


And some say love is holding on
And some say letting go
And some say love is everything
And some say they don't know

Perhaps love is like the ocean
Full of conflict, full of pain
Like a fire when it's cold outside
Thunder when it rains
If I should live forever
And all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you


And some say love is holding on
And some say letting go

And some say love is everything
Some say they don't know


Perhaps love is like the ocean
Full of conflict, full of pain
Like a fire when it's cold outside
Or thunder when it rains
If I should live forever
And all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you
~~~~John Denver~

shapes, patterns and textures

“Life is your art. 

An open, aware heart is your camera. 

A oneness with your world is your film. "

― Ansel Adams

mimosa drying happy happy

sunday circles

Grandfather Arnie Neptune

Candace Gray

Grandfather Fred Ranco

for many years we held a circle here the first Sunday of the month.  

Over the years we met many people who found us through others, 

from posters in Morning Dew.  

The circles started with a friend Jeff Beaulieu who wanted to be a healer 

and wanted the circle started.  First circle was small, 

one friend of his Karen, one acquaintance of mine Maggie

who brought two friends Diane and Candace, Tim and me. 

 Later native Elders with a capital E came to check us out 

as Jeff was part native.  

We didn't realize how much we were watched. 

 We seemed to pass inspection and in years to come,

 Elders led the circle after our friend decamped.

The circle was a place of sharing, learning, laughter and tears.

Many who attended the circles, & goodness there were many, have moved on.  
Other remain part of our lives.
~~~

There was a time in the circle that was halycon, uplifting, magical, strong

and then little by little it unraveled and wasn't.

We have stopped the circle.  It was time.  

One knows when something has outgrown its need.

We were blessed to have it on the land and in our lives.

~~~

Grandfather Arnie Neptune, 
Grandfather Fred, 
Candace
Maggie 

 finished their earth walk

Maggie Diamond

Each was a friend, a teacher, an Elder

all irreplaceable and missed.

love this

simplify back to ~

Have gotten sidetracked of late.
Why is it so hard to stay on track and focused?

We spend too much time making a living and too little time living and making. - (Rachel Dillon)

The hurrier I go, the behinder I get! - the White Rabbit 

If you want a golden rule that will fit everybody, this is it. Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful. - William Norris,1834-1896 

The more things you own, the more they own you. - Pat Jim 

Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers 

my sorted past

The world, my father, my sisters, Mary don't approve  

of or understand my many jobs.  

I have only left one job of 47 badly.  My boss yelled at me in front of a customer 

 for a mistake I did not make.  That to me was totally out of line.  I quit.  

 Except for that everyone I  worked for would hire me back.  

All gave me reference letters.  

A few actually hired me back ...

the Aegis and the Bel Air Athletic Club and CIT.....says something ..... 

 I have skills I would never have learned if I "stuck it out in the same job" ..... 

I know how to run 5 star resorts, inns, motels, doctors office,  

I have planned tours, bought books for library, 

managed restaurant, housekeeping, newspaper staff, done payroll,

 given tours and tastings.  

 I have sold advertising, maps, window treatments, houses,  and travel 

which means I have been bonded and licensed in several fields, 

I have taught myself skills computer, excel, designed ads, brochures, newsletters.  

I have made beds, waited tables, gardened 

 picked and planted and arranged flowers and driven trucks as part of my jobs.  

 I have worked for myself. I do well working by myself, but can work well on teams making good money for the business and usually for myself.  

Some really nice talented business people have been my bosses 

and have taught me what they knew.  I am thankful.

I got unemployment only once.  Once was enough.

I was laid off once.  

It was a seasonal job. A job I loved in a greenhouse, hot, cold, and underpaid.

AND  I am blessed that I am able to move on when I feel it is time.   

 The part I find so incredible and funny is that I change jobs like underwear, 

yet I have stayed married to the same person all these many years.

 Go figure.

This rant was brought on by my sister 

who doesn't approve of me giving notice on my current job.

who are the heros of today

Pete Seeger died at 94.  He, to me, was a super hero, a talented man who had values, 

who worked to improve the world, the US, people, the Hudson River.  

He made us sing.  That is a huge gift to make music a tool 

in improving life.

We grew up with people like this, educated, compassionate, talented people 

with values and morals - politicians, movie stars, sports figures and activists 

whom we wanted to emulate. 
These people were not always  perfect, yet they had something 
that I don't feel so often today. 
I am not sure I can articulate exactly what is lacking.

We seem to have a shortage of true leaders, great musicians, 
sportsman, movie stars, elders.  
I would have trouble listing real outstanding stars 
in music, theatre, movies, sports or leaders in government.

Why are we lacking in those who are outstanding, those of character? 

Poor kids, poor me, poor world.  

Perhaps changes over the years have brought this about.  

Most all character begins in the home 
and the biggie there is that mom isn't there. 

 In the schools we lost God.   

Those two are big.  

Not enough guiding lights or stars for us and the kids.
One by one they seem to be dying.