"beautiful ones"

Why is it that so many seem unhinged of late? I question ~ Is it really me that is off or is it  an insane time in the world?  I keep going back to the research done on crowding and rats and  the behavior it caused--- Behavioral Sink.  Rats put in a space with food and savety, breed and breed until behavior changed for the worst. It so sounds like the behavior of the world of late.  Deviant, delusional, warped.....

all brought about in this utopia by overcrowding. 

 It was and is a break down of society.

No small part of this ugly barbarization has been due to sheer physical congestion: a diagnosis now partly confirmed with scientific experiments with rats – for when they are placed in equally congested quarters, they exhibit the same symptoms of stress, alienation, hostility, sexual perversion, parental incompetence, and rabid violence that we now find in the Megalopolis.

So it sets up a fear in me of many of my fellow men as they seem deranged. 
 No other word of it.  
They are nasty, unpleasant, mean spirited, weird and why should this be?

What has changed over the years that has brought this on?  I am sure mankind since the beginning had many strange, unpleasant people.... but it seems to be accelerating and going down hill at a staggering rate as are the numbers of us inhabiting this planet increases.  I do not see it changing.  Politicians, and those in the limelight are easy to spot, but others seem to follow their thinking and behavior which seems deviant and out of kilter to me.  And those that seem rational, good, kind etc 
are not able to do much about the offensive others.    
I personally just want to go away from the others 

and that too was part of the rat study,

 a certain number did not join with the others.

The ‘beautiful ones’ withdrew themselves ever so quietly, removing themselves from the sick society. Solitary pursuits began to define them; eating, drinking and grooming among others. No scars on their back or hairs out-of-place, these mice behaved like a separate race. They saw the world through their narrow scopes, as they tossed, turned and tried to cope.

 Besides the breakdown of society, we are doing away with other species and ultimately us if we do not change our ways.  Usually in nature there is a natural fix for overpopulation.  With most species this works, but  with mankind we have solved -ho ho -and overridden the fixes of disease, lack or fertility with medicine,  etc 
 It allows us  

to grow and grow and multiple ourselves into a massive mess.

oh dear!

it has been raining~

gardens, parks and wild?

When we first arrived here I gardened

 and 

I tried very hard to make the woods and fields park like 

which it sort of looked for a time.  

Nature is a tough taskmaster 

and what I cut down and claimed for mine,

 she put back in spades.  

Each year I would cut and re cut the same trees, vines~ 

landscaping the woods and fields into my concept of parkland.

I am tired of fighting mother nature.  

How stupid of me to feel I can truly tame this land, the wild

  and cultivate such a vast space.  

Others work hard making their lawns  garden space pristine on .25 acres. 

I have 80 acres woods, meadowland

 trees, rocks, grasses, wildflowers, etc.  

We are, all us gardeners, fighting a battle of sorts.  

We play God decided what goes, what stays and what to drag in.

Nevertheless and meanwhile Nature remains in charge. 

 Nature fills voids.  

You take out grass and make a garden bed and nature throws in weeds 

which thrive 

because "weeds" those unwanted flowers, grasses, plants 

 they belong 

and they are strong.

We bring in something that does not belong and mother nature kills it off.

Silly us,  thinking we can fix this.

We tear them out and tear them out and TEAR THEM OUT 

Unless we do those chemicals which may KILL them off, we are sure 

to lose the battle, the war.

Has any gardener ever had a weed free garden and should they?

I am not competing anymore.  

I shall tend my gardens, keep my trails open, my paths mowed,

 but  I shall not beat myself up trying to make the land something it is not. 

 I am letting those thugs of plants take over and it looks rather nice.  

Those that can't cope have disappeared. 

 Nature is doing her thing and I am assisting.

I guess I am making peace with nature

having learned by experience that I the mere human

and really a mere spectator, perhaps a helper, but definitely 

I am not in charge here.

In the meantime, wildflowers abound ABOUND 

in the fields, in the roadways, in the woods and in the bog.  

80 acres plus the neighbors 180 acres, plus the 5000 plus bog

gives me nature at its best, a big full menu 

of what grows in this corner of the universe.

Right now we have dandelions, buttercups, and wood anemones, starflowers, 

violets of all colors, strawberries, wild azalea, wild rosemary.  

The list is never ending as they bloom on one side of us early, anther side late. 

 One dies back and something new appears.  

It is dazzling and overwhelming 

and the very best is it is free. 

 It is nature showing me her gardening skills. 

 Look this grows in the wet dark places 

and look along the roads in the sand, this thrives.  

I enjoy. 

 I just take it in and I am grateful each day that I walk this land.

 I  am more and more amazed and awed

 and oh my isn't that easier than the cost of buying stuff

 and the work of keeping it tidy to humans'  garden standards?

There is room for both, civilized, parklike and wild, 

but of late I prefer to shift

to gardening minimally 

some veg, some bulbs, some annuals, some perennials 

and some trees and shrubs

BUT 

I shall definitely let nature do the real work 

of decorating the 80 acres.

after the rains

old friendships

I had a small group of friends in grade school and high school. 

Anne was my best friend through both.  

We had like interests and double dated 

until at our senior Prom she undid me and everyone 

by announcing that instead of going off to college as planned 

and continuing to date, and marry as planned,

she was becoming a missionary nun in South America.  

Surprise!

Anne at the last class reunion.  Looks exactly like she did in high school except for the gray hair.

One might think a best friend might have had an inkling 

of this huge decision and change of heart.

No, none, zero as it was not shared.

Nor did her fiance.

Anne became a missionary nun, went to Mexico & South America

but was continually sick.

She came back, changed religious orders (didn't know you could do that)

joining the nuns who taught us at Visitation,

a cloistered order.

I used to visit her at the convent which felt strange and unnatural.

Eventually she decided not to be a nun, left the order and convent,

 married and had kids.

I have tried to connect with her,

but get only brief as in really brief messages

Merry Christmas Anne.

One might hope that there would be a sharing drawing upon the past.

I don't feel I do friends well.

My neighborhood best friend Susan like Anne 

has never answered my correspondence.

  

spring ready

Have been getting the deck ready.  Dragged out the furniture 

and today I am painting some of it.  
More painting tomorrow !

Bright blue

Wind has made it a challenge as have the black flies.  

Remember my mother every year getting the porch furniture out of the garage
and putting it in the driveway

 to wash and paint.  

I wouldn't mind that porch on my house.  

What a joy it was connecting all the downstairs rooms. 

 Remember storms coming in and 

everyone racing to put down the big canvas awning 

and the bamboo awnings.  

Lovely memories around that porch.  

Flower arrangements, reading, sitting down talking. 

In summer it was the best inside place to hang out.  

Still putting together the deck here.
Have put nasturiums in the wall planter and one in a pot.

Not sure what else will be out there.

funtional

I did not think that I met/knew anyone dysfunctional until my older years,

 but it dawned on my that as a child on Northfield Place 

our next door neighbor was not too functional.  

Miss, as there was no Ms then, Ricesinger 

lived on the second floor of her home, never came out. 

She had food/ice delivered 

and mail she pulled up to her porch with a little basket. 

 She did not like us kids in her yard and was watchful. 

 If she saw us she yelled at us. 

Had she lived there her entire life?  Who knows.  

Why had she become a recluse or had she always been one. 

 She died and her home was sold to a family 

who lived in the house which was a real change.

 This Single-Family Home located 
. 310 Northfield Pl has 4 baths and approximately 3,030 square feet. 
The property has a lot size of 0.28 acres and was built in 1921. 
 That is a big house for one lady all by herself.

purpose

Nothing contributes so much 

to tranquilize the mind 

as a steady purpose - 

a point on which the soul

may fix its intellectual eye.

Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley

it is happening

Signs of spring include our cat Wooly out walking with us again.

  

Birds of all flavors from hawks to sparrows are back. The vernal pond is surfacing.

"Holiness comes wrapped in the ordinary. 

There are burning bushes all around you.

 Every tree is full of angels. 

Hidden beauty is waiting in every crumb." 

May flowers wild and tame

Each year I have tried to do a listing of flowers wild mostly that bloom here. 

 I put them in a list by name but that isn't what I wanted.  

This year I am trying to keep them in chronologically order of bloom 

which is challenging as they bloom here there and everywhere at different times. 

Now I have the wild AN the bulbs, shrubs and veg.

 BUT at least we are closer this year ~ here are some blooming this mid May.

With my wild flowers best part is all I have to do is enjoy. 

no planting, weeding.  Just be with them as they make their appearance.

Be nice if they all stayed longer, but I am pleased to have them whenever. 

yesterday while walking

portsmouth pleasant

We had lunch in Portsmouth NH which is an hour and a half south down on the Atlantic.  Nice town full of shops and restaurants and businesses and people!  We found a huge restaurant on the water  http://www.martingalewharf.com/ We could have eaten outside on the deck, but it was cloudy and windy  (there were people out there!)  Lovely meal. Sensational food really!!!!!!  I had crab cakes with ham, arugula and avocado while Tim had beer and sandwich of salmon, cucumbers, bacon and lettuces.  No desserts and our bill was.... $50.  That's a first.  

Was worth it but don't think we could afford too many meals out at that rate. 

Things we noticed.  Parking lot was 4 stories and a whole city block and there were more cars in there than people in Brownfield. 

 Oh yes and much bigger, newer and fancier cars than Brownfield.

Clothes they sell in shops, and everything else for that matter beaucoup strange, and beaucoup expensive.  Lovely to look at, but good heavens where would you wear the dress that looked like it was made of plastic bags.  Neat buildings  some beautiful--bakery in picture.  There is a lovely garden in Portsmouth  that I want to see some day, but yesterday was too iffy to do it.  Good decision to leave when we did as it started to rain.

We had a good time, although we got caught in construction traffic, got lost several times, couldn't see the submarine Tim wanted to see (not open for the season) yet and almost had some idiot driving down the wrong side of road hit us.  
As in all our outings, we were very glad to come home to the quiet where we live.